The holidays can be a tense time for any family but add a divorce process that has only just begun, and the children of the household can begin to feel neglected or upset about the way the holidays are beginning to unfold. This is primarily due to the inherent uncertainty that surrounds holidays, especially for the inaugural year of divorce firsts. As such, holidays should not be left up to chance. Instead, there should be a consistent and sensible plan created ahead of time.
Each plan will be individual to the family looking to get through the holidays. However, there are a few quick tips that can make the planning process go smoother for all parties involved and instill a better sense of consistency for the children involved.
Put a Pause on Arguments
Even if there is a major conflict that is not related to the holidays, this is a time to hit the pause button. You can always go back and argue later but you can’t get the time back around the holidays wasted through arguing. Further, this should be a time of open communication. If you have a preference for Christmas Day and your ex-spouse usually have a Christmas Eve party with their family, it makes better sense to pick the child up Christmas Day morning and allow both parties to get their preferred time, even if the days both fall on your days of custody. This sets a better tone for the future when you may want a similar setup.
Further, if you only prefer to have the child on one holiday and it means more to your parting spouse, you could be taking away an important holiday for your child, but you will definitely be spiteful without reason – something you’ll hope your spouse won’t do to you at a later time.
Ask Your Child
Maybe your child prefers your ex-wife’s turkey or likes spending Christmas Day with your ex-husband’s family. By giving your child a say, they will feel more part of the decision-making, which can lead to lower anxiety about the holidays. Further, respecting your child’s wishes will lead to a better relationship with your child and ultimately your ex-spouse.
If you are considering divorce, contact our team today. We will help alleviate some of the stress in the process while helping to develop skills in co-parenting to aid your family’s future.
