Nobody wants to go through the pain of a divorce, and that is especially true when there are children involved. In most cases where a couple with kids divorce, the most challenging and emotional negotiations have to do with custody, and how much time each will have with their children. The truth, though, is that after the struggle is over and a shared agreement is in place, many divorced parents end up believing that shared custody has made their relationship with their child far stronger. Here are a few pointers on making the most of your time with your child after a shared custody decision.

• Appreciate your non-stop weekends with your kids. Though there is no doubt that you will miss them on the weekends when they are with your ex, but you have the opportunity to make every moment count by planning activities that will keep you busy, entertained, and together. Once it’s just you, you’ll no longer have to feel excluded from activities that your spouse excelled in or engage in activities that you didn’t personally enjoy but that your spouse favored.
• Plan your chores and errands for the time that your children are not with you so that when it is your time, you can dedicate yourself to them.
• Make your reunions a celebration. Even though your shared custody agreement probably only has you away from your kids for a few days, make a big deal out of getting back together. Try doing something new in the house while they’re gone and then seeing whether they can spot it. It could be something as simple as buying a new pillow or a big thing like painting a room. Doing this gives them a reason to look forward to the return to you instead of feeling like the transition is a disruption.
• Demonstrate that you are able to do all of the things that the other parent can do too so that there is no sense that your children are missing out on something by being with you. Did your ex do all the cooking? Make sure that you know how to make all of their favorite meals. Did your ex roughhouse with them or play sports? Make sure that they know you can play catch with them also.

Shared custody does not have to mean that your relationship with your child is diminished. In many ways, it can provide an even deeper way of engaging with them, if you just focus on all of the positives.

If you need help settling a custody decision or with other divorce issues, contact the Jensen Bagnato team today!