Tips for an Easier Divorce

We’ve all heard the horror stories about awful, adversarial divorces. Those stories are a big reason that many people wait to divorce until they see no way out. Unfortunately, some marriages simply are not built to last, but that doesn’t mean that the process of separation and divorce has to be hate-filled and horrible.

Even when the reasons for the divorce are painful, the best way to salve your hurt and move forward is to get past the legal maneuvers and move on to your new life. The more you fight, the harder it will be to move on, even when the papers are signed. It is easy to get bogged down in wanting to win, but you can lose a lot in the process.  Here are our trips for the steps you can take to gift yourself an easier divorce.

  • Start by making sure that divorce is your best option. Even situations that feel intractable can be repaired with the help of a good marriage therapist. If you loved each other enough to get married, it is usually worth the time and effort to see if you can recover your positive, loving feelings towards each other. Even if you don’t decide to reconcile it may help you to communicate more effectively through the divorce process.
  • Act respectfully, no matter how hard it is. Though it is tempting to find yourself a ‘shark’ who is going to fight to the finish, the divorces that end up in court end up costing much more, both financially and emotionally. By staying civil and trying to focus on what is fair instead of beating your soon-to-be-ex up, you will get through feeling better.
  • Start by agreeing to what your end goal is. If you both agree that you want to sell your home, that is a starting point to work from. For many couples, the starting point is placing their kids’ well-being as their top priority. Once you have a consensus on a single goal, you become partners in formulating a plan and will be better able to communicate.
  • Consider mediation. Sitting down and negotiating through a neutral third party is usually a much more peaceful process than going into court, and it will end up costing you less too. Even if you choose to work without a mediator you can choose an attorney who will work towards a negotiated agreement rather than going through the court system.

If you’re considering divorce and want to ensure the process is as smooth as possible, the experienced divorce attorneys at Jensen Bagnato can help. Contact our team today to discuss your options.